It Doesn't Add Up
by WoonaOnTheMoon
Summary: Let's face it. The heroes of Paris are dorks who take density to a whole new level. Nothing short of smashing their heads together is going to work. So let's sit back and scream. The Anti-Reveal Fic in which everyone knows that Mari and Sunshine Child are meant to be but alas fate is cruel...to us.
1. When You Think About Ladybug

I do not own Miraculous Ladybug

* * *

 **When You Think About Ladybug**

* * *

Adrien's cheeks were warm, uncomfortably so.

They were pink too, was that normal?

No, they were really pink.

Like really, really pink.

His palms smacked into his cheeks and he began to examine the skin. He was burning up!

Horrified, he could only watch the splochy red creep across his face in the mirror.

A rash?

This was definitely what the older models had warned him about all those years ago.

"Nathalieeeeeee, I'm having an allergic reaction to the makeup!"

* * *

A.N. Ladybug: (Adrien missing + Chat Noir's Cataclysm) x Coincidences

Ladybug: _Chat Noir must be trying to protect Adrien!_

Ladybug: *Proceeds to sing dramatic love confession to the guy she dumps every other day*

Am I biting off more than I can chew? Yes. Yes I am but these are definitely one-shots. Random crackish puns and several instances of extreme stupidity. Not safe reading for heads or walls.


	2. Half Reveal and Counting

I don't own the ML franchise

* * *

He waves wistfully, waiting for her to leave first like she always does.

There's a fond almost adoring look lighting his eyes that she prefers to ignore most of the time ( _it's better for their partnership, less complicated_ ) but now it's a sinking feeling in her stomach, a thousand vengeful akumas battling too break free.

She dreads this moment.

She hates knowing, the perfect, tight balance she has so carefully weaved together is slipping from her fingers.

It feels wrong, like she's taking advantage of him.

She hates witholding information from the people she loves.

She remembers every lie she has breathed, it wraps her in a suffocating web.

And the truth trips from her lips, trembling.

"..I-I'm Marinette"

Silence.

"A-and I..know that.."

There's a gasp.

He hates her doesn't he?

He should, he shoul..

"That's so COOL!"

Huh?

"I have a friend named Marinette too!"

"..."

"Now that I think about it you're really alike"

"..."

"Wait, I should totally introduce you to each other! You like flowers right? So does she!"

"..."

"You could hit it off! You could meet in your costume of course, I'll just explain everything to her, she's very good at keeping secrets and super nice!"

His ears are perked, his tail is swishing madly behind him, Ladybug takes one serious look at him.

A black blur rips through the air, hurdling towards the ground much to the alarm of nearby pigeons.

"Myyyyyy Ladddyyyyyyyy whyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Ladybug is done. She has met her quota for the day. Goodbye universe. Hello bed.

She's not even going to think too hard about this.

* * *

A.N. Mari will get her turn in the next chapter.

School started this Monday. I wrote up the continuation of Surpassing Imitations a ML tech AU. Hopefully I type it up soon for In the Hands of Chance. I think this fic will be updated most as I don't have depend on any serious plot here.


	3. The Old Man is a Troll

I don not own the Ml franchise.

* * *

Ladybug leaped over the rubble in a mad dash for the corner. It should be able to protect her from the onslaught with Chat Noir at work distracting the akuma. Just enough time to summon Lucky Charm.

She ducked behind the wall for fleeting security.

"Lucky Charm!" she cried.

Please let it be something useful. Please let it be...a toothbrush answered her call

"A toothbrush!?" she squeaked her gaze darting over her surroundings.

It might be able to slip through that, bounce off the glass just where that person was crossing the street. Wait. Oh no.

"Keep him off me for a little longer, Chat!"

"Your wish is my command. It is putting a bit of pressure on me however!" He screamed back, grappling with a few minions.

* * *

She gasped as her feet hit a roof then sharply turned to the elderly man tucked into her side.

Chat Noir smacked a skeleton with his baton.

"Are you okay sir?"

She scanned him for injury quickly, a touch of panic in her tone. She needed to get back out there and help but she also needed to make sure all civilans within the area were in good health. She never wanted to test the limits of Miraculous Ladybug. It was actually beyond her why he was still here, most people had fled already accustomed to the early signs of an attack.

"Oh thank you child, I just zone off sometimes." He smiled serenely at her.

She responded with a strained smile.

Chat Noir yelped.

"Stay here, we should be able to lead the akuma away from you."

"A little help my lady. Ahhhhhhh!"

She turned to join the fray with piercing gold eyes never leaving her ascent into the sky.

"It might be time to send in a little backup."

The little trinklet around his wrist pulsed in approval.

He looked down, smiled and withdrew into the shadows, the brisk tapping of his cane lost in the battle below.

Wayzz peeked over the khaki and frowned.

"This why you do not take short cuts you are not familar with."

"Allow a man to live a little. We should find out way out soon. If I see someone I can always ask for directions."

Wayzz sighed.

* * *

And then a generic set of thugs stop him and learn that an old man in a green jumpsuit with cane is more formidable than he looks. Maybe I'll add a little ending piece for that later.

Another stellar example of density. They will never recognise him even if he practically stalks them.

I have to update "In the Hands of Chance". Fingers crossed. I'll just be over here doing home-work. *cries*


	4. Picturesque

I don't own ML

* * *

If you caught Paris' famous duo at one of their favourite hangouts on a good day, they were usually quite willing to do an autograph, perhaps a picture or two. The tourists loved it. Some tours even offered to help you find their hideout of the day. After all, it wasn't everyday you got to meet friendly superheroes who were willing to sit down and chat a little.

Recently however, Hawkmoth's increasingly frequent and agitated attacks had become taxing so Chat Noire had mentioned a quieter place. The new art installation she said inspired her in both her civilian and hero personas. Coccinelle had eagerly agreed hoping to bond over this new information on Chat's personal interests.

* * *

Coccinelle figeted awkwardly next to Chat. This wasn't what he had in mind.

"Soooo Mistress."

"Shhhhh," she hissed pushing him back,"I'm trying to concentrate."

She continued to sketch in that little notebook she refused to show him.

He leaned back and pouted against the giant Agreste billboard Gaberiel Agreste had insisted on having just last week.

* * *

A. all know what's the view.

Tell me she doesn't have a book on Adrien sketches and I will disconnect your internet. But yes, Kwami swap AU


End file.
